SELF-CARE

Self-care, does anyone really know what that means? I mean really, really know. Not just the I’m going to drink a cup of tea and read a book type of self-care but the, I’m going to shut off my phone ignore the loudness of the world and hide for a little bit type of self-care. No more validation. Do it for the diploma, the likes, the company, my family, my friends, myself.

So much happens in life and we get so busy creating the life that we want that we forget to take care of our mental health. On the outside, it’s all aligning, but on the inside sometimes it feels like everything is falling apart. No one really talks about the chaos that happens even when good things are happening. Maybe it’s the fear of sounding whiny, ungrateful, or undeserving. A lot of times we share the picture of us on the top of a hill and hide the giant boulder that we had to push to get up there. Lately, I can’t help but wonder what people are hiding behind the fluff.

Life is all about balance and to save yourself sometimes you have to take a step back. Even when something isn’t considered “toxic” it can be bad for you if you aren’t in a place where you’re really ready to accept it. If none of this makes sense to you think of it like this. Life is constantly moving forward, right? We as humans have this annoying natural urge to be the best to avoid being mediocre, to have the best things to avoid being left out, to show our best face at all times to avoid being thought of as the person with problems. In doing so we create a deep personal problem something that can be so harmful to your psyche that really only one thing can fix it and that’s self-care. No amount of medication, therapy, understanding or money can fix it. When we live our lives in a way that we think will make other people happy we end up feeling empty and self-care is really the only way to actually be on top of that mountain, not just a post a picture online moment that looks like you’re there.

This is why when the glow of a new promotion, car, status, _______ (fill in the blank) wears off we feel lost in the midst of it all. Can you relate now? Next time you’re feeling down do something 100% for you. Close the door, turn off your notifications, sleep in a little longer, call in to work, tell your friends you aren’t up for dinner, tell your child you can’t play today,  post a picture online because you’re proud, just because you want to not for the likes, wear shorts even if your thighs touch, use that weird looking machine at the gym even if you don’t know how it works, tell someone exactly how they make you feel if they’re being mean, leave your side hustle alone until you really feel like working in it again.

Stop feeling like you have to be open, on, tired, forced, social, obligated, popular, ashamed, embarrassed, polite and working. Most importantly stop feeling like you have to explain yourself.

Mind, body, soul and spirit, reclaim balance whatever that looks like for you. Without self-care we fall into the dangerous trap of not caring at all and going down that hole can be so dark and lonely even if you have an amazing life that you’ve created filled with loving friends and family.

I hope this helps you, but most importantly I hope you take the time to help yourself.